If you are going through a divorce in California and have children, you may have heard of the practice of “nesting,” which involves allowing the children to remain in the family home while the parents take turns living there with them. While nesting can have benefits, you should be aware of several potential downsides to this arrangement.
Child Custody and Visitation
One of the main concerns with nesting during a divorce is that it can complicate child custody and visitation arrangements. If you and your ex-spouse are sharing the family home, it can be difficult to ensure that each parent has adequate time with the children. Additionally, nesting can be costly and only feasible for some families, particularly if both parents need to maintain separate residences.
Another potential downside of nesting is that it can create emotional tension and conflict between the parents. Sharing a home with your ex-spouse can be difficult and bring up feelings of resentment, anger, and hurt that can be hard to manage. This can be particularly challenging if one or both parents still process their emotions around the divorce.
Difficulty Moving On
Nesting can also make it more difficult for both parents to move on after the divorce is finalized. Sharing a home with your ex-spouse can make it harder to establish boundaries and create a sense of closure, which can impede the healing process and prevent both parties from moving on with their lives.
Finally, nesting can be a significant financial burden for both parents. Maintaining two households can be expensive, and the costs associated with keeping the family home can be exceptionally high. This can create additional stress and strain on an already difficult situation.
Effective but with downsides
While nesting can be an effective way to prioritize your children’s needs during a divorce, be aware of the potential downsides of this arrangement. By understanding the potential pitfalls and working with your ex-spouse to establish clear boundaries and expectations, you can make nesting work for your family and help your children navigate the challenges of the divorce process.